Great piece of writing Kelly. I was really enthralled and liked the way you kept the reader wondering what was going to happen next. I also like it because it was nice and short. Just enough to enjoy it. Well done.
Kelly that was a fantastic piece of writing especially when its short with descriptive word. You really made me feel like i was there. I liked it because all those descriptive words made me want to know what was going to happen next. My favourite part of the story was when you said you were there for those sick children.
Kelly your writing is descripteive the story made me have butter flies just thinking about it it felt like I was jumping out of a plane because it was so entertaining and thrilling.
Great work kelly it was really intresting and i liked it because it forced me to keep on reading it.My favourite piece of information is when you said the height of how far you were going to jump GOOD WORK KELLY FROM KYRALEE YOUR BFF.
Great job Kelly I really liked it.It was very interesting because you added lots of awesome words and I could picture the story in my head.Well done.FROM KATHERINE.
I like how you describe how you feel about jumping and your legs resisting. My favorite bit is when you ask what you do next because it lets the reader to think of their own endings.
I really enjoyed reading that Kelly, it was great how you described how you were feeling about why you are jumping out of a plane, and the cause of it was really good. Near the end, it was getting really tense that you couldnt pull the string, I loved it and cant wait to read the next part of it.
Great piece of writing Kelly. I was really enthralled and liked the way you kept the reader wondering what was going to happen next. I also like it because it was nice and short. Just enough to enjoy it. Well done.
ReplyDeleteKelly that was a fantastic piece of writing especially when its short with descriptive word. You really made me feel like i was there. I liked it because all those descriptive words made me want to know what was going to happen next. My favourite part of the story was when you said you were there for those sick children.
ReplyDeleteKelly your writing is descripteive the story made me have butter flies just thinking about it it felt like I was jumping out of a plane because it was so entertaining and thrilling.
ReplyDeletenice writing kelly it was awesome,it was a good peace of writing because i liked some of the words like budge and grasping. Keep it up by blake.
ReplyDeleteGreat work kelly it was really intresting and i liked it because it forced me to keep on reading it.My favourite piece of information is when you said the height of how far you were going to jump GOOD WORK KELLY FROM KYRALEE YOUR BFF.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Kelly I really liked it.It was very interesting because you added lots of awesome words and I could picture the story in my head.Well done.FROM KATHERINE.
ReplyDeleteI like how you describe how you feel about jumping and your legs resisting. My favorite bit is when you ask what you do next because it lets the reader to think of their own endings.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading that Kelly, it was great how you described how you were feeling about why you are jumping out of a plane, and the cause of it was really good. Near the end, it was getting really tense that you couldnt pull the string, I loved it and cant wait to read the next part of it.
ReplyDelete~Emma