Tuesday 26 March 2013

The bizare alien BOB by Regan

 Here's my story





https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sqCYwVdwqfdo3z4FWEJZgwfcqawx1ip3SDerxekvqG0/edit?usp=sharing


5 comments:

  1. Great story Reagan.I like the bit where you said, he had a sour look on his face.Maybe you could of wrote a little bit more on your story. From Jess.

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  2. Hey Regan!this is an awesome piece of writing I loved it! It really hooked me in and felt like I myself was in the story, it was so descriptive! I like how you descibed the alien and the awesome names you came up for the characters! great job! :) a quick thought tho, you could imporve with describing the setting more :) great work!

    Emma :}

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  3. I like how you said gaint blueberry jelly monster,you have described this story really well.I like how you said he was meant to be speaking alienish this story was awesome.
    Blake :) lolz

    Things to work on: You never said you were in space which could be a bit confusing to some people, it sounds like he is on earth until the end which was confusing.
    Amiee :}

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  4. i like how you wrote he spoke alinish funny as reagan and how you hocked me in by saying he had a sour look on his face like in the west cowboy :-) lol thanks for your time cowboy from paddy lol blits

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  5. Nice story.
    I like the description.
    Next time you could maybe not make it so fast paced and slow down a bit.

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