Hi Troy, it's Regan here, I reckon your story is awesome. What I find awesome is how descriptive it was. The one thing I'd improve on is when some character is talking. I got a little lost when they started talking but it is a really swag story. ;)
I agree that some aspects of the descriptive language were very good such as "He returned with three strange glowing beans". However, I also agree with Regan that some of the dialogue was a little difficult to follow. I would go back and see if you can't make it a little easier to follow.
How was my swag story ???????
ReplyDeleteHi Troy, its Kelly here. Your story was definately SWAG and I loved every bit of it. By the way, the story ending is soooooo cute. :)
ReplyDeleteSwaglish story Troy I guess that's why it's called 'TROYS AWESOME STORY'- by Karim and James
ReplyDeleteHi Troy, it's Regan here, I reckon your story is awesome. What I find awesome is how descriptive it was. The one thing I'd improve on is when some character is talking. I got a little lost when they started talking but it is a really swag story. ;)
ReplyDeleteCheers man
DeleteSwag story Troy
DeleteI agree that some aspects of the descriptive language were very good such as "He returned with three strange glowing beans". However, I also agree with Regan that some of the dialogue was a little difficult to follow. I would go back and see if you can't make it a little easier to follow.
ReplyDeletei like the story described alot
ReplyDelete