I like the moral of your story about working hard and getting the rewards. Your story would have been more effective if you checked your punctuation a little better. Some full stops and speech marks would have made it easier to follow. Go back and fix these and your story will read much better.
I liked the meaning of the story, but a little advice for next time will be to check punctuation and full stops apart from that great job, Ka Pai !!! Rayan P3 Mokoia Int
I like the moral of your story about working hard and getting the rewards. Your story would have been more effective if you checked your punctuation a little better. Some full stops and speech marks would have made it easier to follow. Go back and fix these and your story will read much better.
ReplyDeleteI like that theres i life lession in there that therers something that follows every acion
ReplyDeletegood or bad, great storty i enjoyed reading it Dylan
Good story, do practice on your punctuation though. Other than that, it was a a good story.
ReplyDeleteI liked the meaning of the story, but a little advice for next time will be to check punctuation and full stops apart from that great job, Ka Pai !!!
ReplyDeleteRayan
P3 Mokoia Int
The story had a good moral, but next time you need to put in punctuation because it made the story confusing!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! Very original and interesting. But next time double check you puncuation :)
ReplyDeleteHannah RPSroom7