I agree with George and Alex. The reference to Jack and Jill and the rhyming of fi fy fo foup is really clever. I also like the way you have broken with tradition and made Jack's mother have a heart attack. It is something that is believable, knowing that seeing a giant beanstalk could be quite shocking. I think maybe you could spend a little more time developing the giant and Jack's relationship.
i like the reference to Jack and Jill and fi fy fo foup would you like some soup. You could improve by describing the market more. George and Alex
ReplyDeleteI agree with George and Alex. The reference to Jack and Jill and the rhyming of fi fy fo foup is really clever. I also like the way you have broken with tradition and made Jack's mother have a heart attack. It is something that is believable, knowing that seeing a giant beanstalk could be quite shocking. I think maybe you could spend a little more time developing the giant and Jack's relationship.
ReplyDeleteLike this story.By AJ
ReplyDeleteI like this story my favorite bit was " fe fi fo flop would you like to came in and have some soup?". This is a awesome story.
ReplyDeleteCheyenne Mokoia Intermediate.
This is a good story, and I liked how you made it Jack and Jill.
ReplyDeleteNext time, you could maybe describe the man who bought the cow.
thank you
ReplyDelete