Thursday, 7 March 2013

Aidans machinarium


As I open the tall wooden door, a cold and wet feeling comes past me. I can see giant, metallic buildings some of them are covered in bright orange rust. It is so foggy even my shiny eyes can barely see through it. I feel very alone and scared in this thick fog. After walking through it I nearly fell in a pond that is dark brown and looks like it has been neglected for years. There is a long pole coming out of the pond leaking oil.


  1. Aidan that story actually made me feel like I was in "Machinarium". i love how you put the dark brown and looks like it had been neglected for makes me think i steped in it.

  2. i like that you put "thick fog" insted of just fog. The dirty muddy pond is a good way to put the story.You've uesd discriptive writing to make it feel like your'e in the story as the charcter.

  3. Hi Aiden its Patty here I like how you put the brown lake that had been neglected for years and not just the lake it was very descriptive:) thanks for your time.