Thursday 7 March 2013

Aaliyahs writing :)

 this is my descriptive writing





https://docs.google.com/document/d/14Tl5ilKb_wg1QJm3BDwpgG5EOhGLRrrkKaA4JdOR6-U/edit

2 comments:

  1. Hi Aali. It's Kelly here. Just saying what an awesome story you created there about Wally the robot. I liked how you said "the rusty dull weather". It really intrigue me and made me want to read on and find out what happened. I was gutted when the paragraph ended because I was enjoying it and I really wanted to read more of your fantastic story. Great punctuation and spelling too. Once again, awesome story!!!

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  2. 'Hi Ali its Hannah here. I love how you said "underground wasteland" and I think its a really good story. You used really good desciptive words. Wally is a really cool name for a robot. I also like the rusty dull weather because it is really descritive and it explains the weather. It also fits because its a westeland and the weather would be rusty.

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