Monday 9 September 2013

Cinderella (remade)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DFB1TC-UzVm1Ii-uQzo0-O9CS2q9-6qZnYWiVspwRD4/editHope you like my story! By Jade.

3 comments:

  1. I think you have created a really interesting complication to the traditional Cinderella fairy tale. I also like the way you have made the stepsisters into maids at the end. One thing I would suggest is going back and trying to change the length of some of your sentences. You could make some shorter and others a little longer. Come and see me and we can work on it our group session.

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  2. I know this is a little late but the story is awesome but the tense keeps on changing. Good job though.
    Amiee

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