Monday, 9 September 2013

Hannahs Story

this is my remake story or jack and the beanstalk


  1. i like the reference to Jack and Jill and fi fy fo foup would you like some soup. You could improve by describing the market more. George and Alex

  2. I agree with George and Alex. The reference to Jack and Jill and the rhyming of fi fy fo foup is really clever. I also like the way you have broken with tradition and made Jack's mother have a heart attack. It is something that is believable, knowing that seeing a giant beanstalk could be quite shocking. I think maybe you could spend a little more time developing the giant and Jack's relationship.

  3. I like this story my favorite bit was " fe fi fo flop would you like to came in and have some soup?". This is a awesome story.

    Cheyenne Mokoia Intermediate.

  4. This is a good story, and I liked how you made it Jack and Jill.
    Next time, you could maybe describe the man who bought the cow.